I grieve

I've been thinking about grief work and I have been working on bereavement issues for awhile now. What happens is that sometimes it makes me feel sad. I feel my own losses and I empathize with those people that have shared their loss experiences with me. I am grateful and feel honoured to have heard those experiences. Thank you.
Throughout our journey in this life we will have many losses and we will grieve in many ways. Losses are inevitable so we could choose to see grief work as normal and necessary. Most of the time we don't see it that way when we have a major loss experience.
Grief is hard but necessary work. We may try to deny it, hide it, express it through addictions but the grief tends to show itself in other ways. Most of the time it is in the way that we treat other people and the way we treat ourselves. It is a feeling of vulnerability. I believe that when we become vulnerable, it is a time where we face a cross road.
 We can choose to take the path of denial and that may lead to a road of hurt and pain. I have heard many people say that if they were to express their pain, they would completely "go crazy' or 'fall apart". That tells me that they love and feel deeply. The love they have is equivalent to the pain they feel. So we struggle every day to deal with the pain of loss. It's understandable why a person might use alcohol, drugs, prescription pills, gambling, food and even TV as a way to cope and then before you know it, it becomes an addiction. And more losses occur.
The other path is where we open our hearts to our grief. We tell ourselves that it's okay to feel the pain. It's ok to feel the pain. It's okay to share the pain with ourselves. It's okay to share the pain with others. We have to change the message in our heads that tell us to keep it inside and not deal with it. When we allow ourselves to grieve, we grieve and we grieve until it's time to move on with that loss becoming a part of who we are. We will never, ever forget the loss but it has changed us in some way. We decide if it will be in a positive way. I encourage you to work out a plan for your grief work. Take it in small steps. Remember that you can control when and where you grieve. Put yourself in charge and decide what you want to do.
I am so grateful to be Cree First Nations because I can turn to my ceremonies and traditions that allow grief work to naturally happen. I also work with mainstream ideas too. It's whatever works for you that is safe and healthy.
Here's a song by Peter Gabriel that speaks to my heart about grief. I hope you enjoy it and use it to help guide you, in your journey. My heartfelt wish is that you feel the peace and joy that we are meant to also experience in this life time. Hiy Hiy.

It was only one hour ago 
It was all so different then 
There's nothing yet has really sunk in 
Looks like it always did 
This flesh and bone 
It's just the way that you would tied in 
Now there's no-one home 

I grieve for you 
You leave me 
'so hard to move on 
Still loving what's gone 
They say life carries on 
Carries on and on and on and on 

The news that truly shocks is the empty empty page 
While the final rattle rocks it's empty empty cage 
And i can't handle this 

I grieve for you 
You leave me 
Let it out and move on 
Missing what's gone 
They say life carries on 
They say life carries on and on and on 

Life carries on 
In the people i meet 
In everyone that's out on the street 
In all the dogs and cats 
In the flies and rats 
In the rot and the rust 
In the ashes and the dust 
Life carries on and on and on and on 
Life carries on and on and on 

It's just the car that we ride in 
A home we reside in 
The face that we hide in 
The way we are tied in 
And life carries on and on and on and on 
Life carries on and on and on 

Did I dream this belief? 
Or did i believe this dream? 
Now i can find relief 
I grieve