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Living Life to The Full

10/15/2020

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Living Life to the Full is an 8 week program through CMHA-Edmonton Region. I have the privilege of being a facilitator with this program . I am currently co-facilitating an evening session as part of my contract work.

A new series of LLTF sessions is set for the end of November through to January 2021. We will be taking a 2 week break over the Christmas holidays. If you or anyone you know might be interested, check out the CMHA-Edmonton Region Website.
https://edmonton.cmha.ca/programs-services/living-life-to-the-full/

Here's some info from their website:
Want to know how to feel happier, more confident and worry less right now? Would you like to learn new ways of dealing with life’s challenges? Book now.
Living Life to the Full is a fun, interactive on-line course that will leave you with the inspiration and tools to get the most out of life!
This 8-week community-based course provides simple, practical skills for coping with stress, problem solving, boosting your mood, and busting bad thoughts. Living Life to the Full certified facilitators present a new topic at each weekly class, bringing the skills to life though booklets, worksheets, group activities and discussions.

Living Life to the Full is based on principles of cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), and has been shown in research studies in the UK and Canada to be effective at improving resilience, well-being, mood, anxiety and social support.

This CMHA flagship program is available in many communities across Canada, with courses geared toward youth, adults, and older adults. We have adapted and seen the course used in such diverse settings as workplaces, schools, on Indigenous communities, in faith communities, in prisons, in seniors’ centres, in residential treatment facilities, and even in group medical visits.

Wednesday Afternoons from 2:00 pm – 3:30 pm. December 2, 9, 16, January 6, 13, 20, 27, February 3. There will be a pre-session meeting on Thursday November 26th from 2:00 pm -3:00 pm to go over course guidelines and ensure everyone has an understanding of the Zoom platform.
OR
Thursday Evenings from 7:00 pm – 8:30 pm. December 3, 10, 17, January 7, 14, 21, 28, February 4. There will be a pre-session meeting on Thursday November 26th from 7:00 pm – 8:00 pm to go over course guidelines and ensure everyone has an understanding of the Zoom platform.

Check it out! Thanks!





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Rose Hip Tea

10/5/2020

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I went out for a walk after the first frost of the Fall. It is so beautiful walking along the river. I went looking for and found some Rose Hips. The above picture shows what they looked like. I just picked a few as I wanted to make tea.

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This picture shows the rose hips i picked. I will let them dry out a little, boil some water, let them sit for 5-10 minutes and enjoy some tea. This will give me extra vitamin C during the cold and flu season.
I have been told by the Elders to pick the Rose Hips after the first frost because that is when they are best used. 
I am so grateful for learning about medicines and using them for my health.
Ay hiy, Kinanaskomitin. "I thank you"

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Procrastination

7/8/2019

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I found this article on jamesclear.com on procrastination. Something I am always working on. I wanted to share as I think it is quite good. I hope you find it helpful.

I. The Science Behind Procrastination

Let's start by getting the basics nailed down. What is procrastination? What does procrastination mean? What exactly are we dealing with here?

What is Procrastination?
Human beings have been procrastinating for centuries. The problem is so timeless, in fact, that ancient Greek philosophers like Socrates and Aristotle developed a word to describe this type of behavior: Akrasia.
Akrasia is the state of acting against your better judgment. It is when you do one thing even though you know you should do something else. Loosely translated, you could say that akrasia is procrastination or a lack of self-control.
Here's a modern definition:
Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing a task or set of tasks. So, whether you refer to it as procrastination or akrasia or something else, it is the force that prevents you from following through on what you set out to do.

Why Do We Procrastinate?
Ok, definitions are great and all, but why do we procrastinate? What is going on in the brain that causes us to avoid the things we know we should be doing?
This is a good time to bring some science into our discussion. Behavioral psychology research has revealed a phenomenon called “time inconsistency,” which helps explain why procrastination seems to pull us in despite our good intentions. Time inconsistency refers to the tendency of the human brain to value immediate rewards more highly than future rewards.
The best way to understand this is by imagining that you have two selves: your Present Self and your Future Self. When you set goals for yourself — like losing weight or writing a book or learning a language — you are actually making plans for your Future Self. You are envisioning what you want your life to be like in the future. Researchers have found that when you think about your Future Self, it is quite easy for your brain to see the value in taking actions with long-term benefits. The Future Self values long-term rewards.
However, while the Future Self can set goals, only the Present Self can take action. When the time comes to make a decision, you are no longer making a choice for your Future Self. Now you are in the present moment, and your brain is thinking about the Present Self. Researchers have discovered that the Present Self really likes instant gratification, not long-term payoff.
So, the Present Self and the Future Self are often at odds with one another. The Future Self wants to be trim and fit, but the Present Self wants a donut. Sure, everyone knows you should eat healthy today to avoid being overweight in 10 years. But consequences like an increased risk for diabetes or heart failure are years away.
Similarly, many young people know that saving for retirement in their 20s and 30s is crucial, but the benefit of doing so is decades off. It is far easier for the Present Self to see the value in buying a new pair of shoes than in socking away $100 for 70-year-old you. (If you're curious, there are some very good evolutionary reasons for why our brain values immediate rewards more highly than long-term rewards.)
This is one reason why you might go to bed feeling motivated to make a change in your life, but when you wake up you find yourself falling back into old patterns. Your brain values long-term benefits when they are in the future (tomorrow), but it values immediate gratification when it comes to the present moment (today).

The Procrastination-Action Line.
You cannot rely on long-term consequences and rewards to motivate the Present Self. Instead, you have to find a way to move future rewards and punishments into the present moment. You have to make the future consequences become present consequences.
This is exactly what happens during the moment when we finally move beyond procrastination and take action. For example, let's say you have a report to write. You've known about it for weeks and continued to put it off day after day. You experience a little bit of nagging pain and anxiety thinking about this paper you have to write, but not enough to do anything about it. Then, suddenly, the day before the deadline, the future consequences turn into present consequences, and you write that report hours before it is due. The pain of procrastinating finally escalated and you crossed the “Action Line.”


There is something important to note here. As soon as you cross the Action Line, the pain begins to subside. In fact, being in the middle of procrastination is often more painful than being in the middle of doing the work. Point A on the chart above is often more painful than Point B. The guilt, shame, and anxiety that you feel while procrastinating are usually worse than the effort and energy you have to put in while you're working. The problem is not doing the work, it's starting the work.
If we want to stop procrastinating, then we need to make it as easy as possible for the Present Self to get started and trust that motivation and momentum will come after we begin. (Motivation often comes after starting, not before.)
Let's talk about how to do that now.

II. How to Stop Procrastinating Right NowThere are a variety of strategies we can employ to stop procrastinating. Below, I'll outline and explain each concept, then I'll provide you with some examples of strategy in action.

Option 1: Make the Rewards of Taking Action More ImmediateIf you can find a way to make the benefits of long-term choices more immediate, then it becomes easier to avoid procrastination. One of the best ways to bring future rewards into the present moment is with a strategy known as temptation bundling.

Temptation bundling is a concept that came out of behavioral economics research performed by Katy Milkman at The University of Pennsylvania. Simply put, the strategy suggests that you bundle a behavior that is good for you in the long-run with a behavior that feels good in the short-run.
The basic format is: Only do [THING YOU LOVE] while doing [THING YOU PROCRASTINATE ON].
Here are a few common examples of temptation bundling:
  • Only listen to audiobooks or podcasts you love while exercising.
  • Only get a pedicure while processing overdue work emails.
  • Only watch your favorite show while ironing or doing household chores.
  • Only eat at your favorite restaurant when conducting your monthly meeting with a difficult colleague.
This article covers some specific exercises you can follow to figure out how to create temptation bundling ideas that work for you.

Option 2: Make the Consequences of Procrastination More ImmediateThere are many ways to force you to pay the costs of procrastination sooner rather than later. For example, if you are exercising alone, skipping your workout next week won’t impact your life much at all. Your health won’t deteriorate immediately because you missed that one workout. The cost of procrastinating on exercise only becomes painful after weeks and months of lazy behavior. However, if you commit to working out with a friend at 7 a.m. next Monday, then the cost of skipping your workout becomes more immediate. Miss this one workout and you look like a jerk.

Another common strategy is to use a service like Stickk to place a bet. If you don't do what you say you'll do, then the money goes to a charity you hate. The idea here is to put some skin in the game and create a new consequence that happens if you don't do the behavior right now.

Option 3: Design Your Future ActionsOne of the favorite tools psychologists use to overcome procrastination is called a “commitment device.” Commitment devices can help you stop procrastinating by designing your future actions ahead of time.
For example, you can curb your future eating habits by purchasing food in individual packages rather than in the bulk size. You can stop wasting time on your phone by deleting games or social media apps. (You could also block them on your computer.)
Similarly, you can reduce the likelihood of mindless channel surfing by hiding your TV in a closet and only taking it out on big game days. You can voluntarily ask to be added to the banned list at casinos and online gambling sites to prevent future gambling sprees. You can build an emergency fund by setting up an automatic transfer of funds to your savings account. These are all examples of commitment devices that help reduce the odds of procrastination.

Option 4: Make the Task More Achievable
As we have already covered, the friction that causes procrastination is usually centered around starting a behavior. Once you begin, it’s often less painful to keep working. This is one good reason to reduce the size of your habits because if your habits are small and easy to start, then you will be less likely to procrastinate.
One of my favorite ways to make habits easier is to use The 2-Minute Rule, which states, “When you start a new habit, it should take less than two minutes to do.” The idea is to make it as easy as possible to get started and then trust that momentum will carry you further into the task after you begin. Once you start doing something, it’s easier to continue doing it. The 2–Minute Rule overcomes procrastination and laziness by making it so easy to start taking action that you can’t say no.
Another great way to make tasks more achievable is to break them down. For example, consider the remarkable productivity of the famous writer Anthony Trollope. He published 47 novels, 18 works of non-fiction, 12 short stories, 2 plays, and an assortment of articles and letters. How did he do it? Instead of measuring his progress based on the completion of chapters or books, Trollope measured his progress in 15-minute increments. He set a goal of 250 words every 15 minutes and he continued this pattern for three hours each day. This approach allowed him to enjoy feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment every 15 minutes while continuing to work on the large task of writing a book.

Making your tasks more achievable is important for two reasons.
  1. Small measures of progress help to maintain momentum over the long-run, which means you’re more likely to finish large tasks.
  2. The faster you complete a productive task, the more quickly your day develops an attitude of productivity and effectiveness.
I have found this second point, the speed with which you complete your first task of the day, to be of particular importance for overcoming procrastination and maintaining a high productive output day after day.
III. Being Consistent: How to Kick the Procrastination HabitAlright, we've covered a variety of strategies for beating procrastination on a daily basis. Now, let's discuss some ways to make productivity a long-term habit and prevent procrastination from creeping back into our lives.

The Daily Routine Experts Recommend for Peak ProductivityOne reason it is so easy to slip back into procrastination time after time is because we don't have a clear system for deciding what is important and what we should work on first. (This is yet another example of the system often being more important than the goal.)
One of the best productivity systems I have found is also one of the most simple. It's called The Ivy Lee Method and it has six steps:
  1. At the end of each work day, write down the six most important things you need to accomplish tomorrow. Do not write down more than six tasks.
  2. Prioritize those six items in order of their true importance.
  3. When you arrive tomorrow, concentrate only on the first task. Work until the first task is finished before moving on to the second task.
  4. Approach the rest of your list in the same fashion. At the end of the day, move any unfinished items to a new list of six tasks for the following day.
  5. Repeat this process every working day.
Here’s what makes it so effective:

It’s simple enough to actually work. The primary critique of methods like this one is that they are too basic. They don’t account for all of the complexities and nuances of life. What happens if an emergency pops up? What about using the latest technology to our fullest advantage? In my experience, complexity is often a weakness because it makes it harder to get back on track. Yes, emergencies and unexpected distractions will arise. Ignore them as much as possible, deal with them when you must, and get back to your prioritized to-do list as soon as possible. Use simple rules to guide complex behavior.

It forces you to make tough decisions. I don’t believe there is anything magical about Lee’s number of six important tasks per day. It could just as easily be five tasks per day. However, I do think there is something magical about imposing limits upon yourself. I find that the single best thing to do when you have too many ideas (or when you’re overwhelmed by everything you need to get done) is to prune your ideas and trim away everything that isn’t absolutely necessary. Constraints can make you better. Lee’s method is similar to Warren Buffett’s 25-5 Rule, which requires you to focus on just five critical tasks and ignore everything else. Basically, if you commit to nothing, you’ll be distracted by everything.

It removes the friction of starting. The biggest hurdle to finishing most tasks is starting them. (Getting off the couch can be tough, but once you actually start running it is much easier to finish your workout.) Lee’s method forces you to decide on your first task the night before you go to work. This strategy has been incredibly useful for me: as a writer, I can waste three or four hours debating what I should write about on a given day. If I decide the night before, however, I can wake up and start writing immediately. It’s simple, but it works. In the beginning, getting started is just as important as succeeding at all.

It requires you to single-task. Modern society loves multi-tasking. The myth of multi-tasking is that being busy is synonymous with being better. The exact opposite is true. Having fewer priorities leads to better work. Study world-class experts in nearly any field—athletes, artists, scientists, teachers, CEOs—and you’ll discover one characteristic runs through all of them: focus. The reason is simple. You can’t be great at one task if you’re constantly dividing your time ten different ways. Mastery requires focus and consistency.
Regardless of what method you use, the bottom line is this: Do the most important thing first each day and let the momentum of the first task carry you into the next one.

How to Avoid Chronic Procrastination With Visual Cues

Another way to overcome the trap of chronic procrastination is to use visual cues to trigger your habits and measure your progress.
A visual cue is something you can see (a visual reminder) that prompts you to take action. Here's why they are important for beating procrastination:

Visual cues remind you to start a behavior. We often lie to ourselves about our ability to remember to perform a new habit. (“I’m going to start eating healthier. For real this time.”) A few days later, however, the motivation fades and the busyness of life begins to take over again. Hoping you will simply remember to do a new habit is usually a recipe for failure. This is why a visual stimulus can be so useful. It is much easier to stick with good habits when your environment nudges you in the right direction.

Visual cues display your progress on a behavior. Everyone knows consistency is an essential component of success, but few people actually measure how consistent they are in real life. Having a visual cue—like a calendar that tracks your progress—avoids that pitfall because it is a built-in measuring system. One look at your calendar and you immediately have a measure of your progress.

Visual cues can have an additive effect on motivation. As the visual evidence of your progress mounts, it is natural to become more motivated to continue the habit. The more visual progress you see, the more motivated you will become to finish the task. There are a variety of popular behavioral economics studies that refer to this as the Endowed Progress Effect. Seeing your previous progress is a great way to trigger your next productive action.

Two of my favorite strategies that use visual cues are The Paper Clip Strategy, which is helpful for beating procrastination day-after-day, and The Seinfeld Strategy, which is great for maintaining consistency over longer periods of time.
Where to Go From Here. I hope you found this short guide on procrastination useful. If you're looking for more ideas on how to stop procrastinating and take action, then check out my full list of procrastination articles below.

All Procrastination Articles This is a complete list of articles I have written on procrastination. Enjoy!
  • The Akrasia Effect: Why We Don’t Follow Through on What We Set Out to Do and What to Do About It
  • The 15-Minute Routine Anthony Trollope Used to Write 40+ Books
  • The Ivy Lee Method: The Daily Routine Experts Recommend for Peak Productivity
  • Two Harvard Professors Reveal One Reason Our Brains Love to Procrastinate
  • How to Stop Procrastinating and Boost Your Willpower by Using “Temptation Bundling”
  • Never Check Email Before Noon (And Other Thoughts on Doing Your Best Work)
  • 3 Simple Ways to Make Exercise a Habit
  • The Physics of Productivity: Newton's Laws of Getting Stuff Done
  • The Only Productivity Tip You'll Ever Need
  • How to Eliminate Procrastination (The Surprising Strategy One Man Used)
  • The Power of Imperfect Starts
  • What to Do When You Want to Build Better Habits But Can't Get Started
  • 5 Thoughts on Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt
  • How to Stop Procrastinating on Your Goals by Using the “Seinfeld Strategy”
  • You Get 25,000 Mornings as an Adult: Here are 8 Ways to Not Waste Them
  • The Difference Between Being “Not Wrong” and Being Right
  • How to Stop Procrastinating by Using the “2-Minute Rule”
  • How to Start Working Out When You Don’t Know What You’re Doing
  • 3 Time Management Tips That Actually Work
  • The Magic of Committing to a Specific Goal
  • Why Getting Started is More Important Than Succeeding
  • Are You Living an Urgent Life or an Important Life?
  • Successful People Start Before They Feel Ready
Best Articles on Related Topics
  • Best articles on behavioral psychology
  • Best articles on habits
  • Best articles on motivation
Or, browse my best articles.
Footnotes
  1. Economists have a similar concept, which they call “hyperbolic discounting.”
  2. I originally got this idea from Eliezer Yudkowsky, who wrote, “On a moment-to-moment basis, being in the middle of doing the work is usually less painful than being in the middle of procrastinating.”
  3. Journalist Oliver Burkeman summarizes my thoughts by saying, “When I get straight down to something really important early in the morning, before checking email, before interruptions from others, it beneficially alters the feel of the whole day: once interruptions do arise, they're never quite so problematic.”


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Suicide Bereavement

6/24/2019

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Hi friends,
I had a request for information on suicide bereavement...what would I recommend for survivors of suicide.
One, someone to talk to, maybe a friend or family member who can listen to the story, over and over again. Listen without judgement or trying to "problem-solve" the situation. We work through our pain when someone hears us.
Also that someone to talk with, can also be a professional counsellor. Maybe someone who is more objective than our friends and family are. Sure we need our loved ones but we also need someone who can support us in a different way...and help us to heal our pain.
Two, There are lots of activities or strategies that we can do to help us every day. These strategies should take into account our Physical, Mental, Spiritual and Emotional aspects of ourselves. When we heal, and do our grief work, it can be in a very holistic manner. Even one thing every day can be helpful. Be gentle with yourself. Pace your grief work to what you can handle. There is no time line, it takes as long as it takes. It's also not linear, it moves and goes back and forth into pain and not so much pain. It's okay to laugh and it's okay to cry.
Three, help to remove the stigma and taboo about talking about suicide. Someone you loved has suicided or died by suicide. That was their choice. It's not your fault. You did what you could with what you had. Forgive yourself and know that they made that decision. Talk about your pain.
Four, knowledge is power. Read and learn about what to expect and what might help you. You are very definitely not alone in this. Suicide is so prevalent, that there are survivors everywhere. We just don't talk about it.

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Here are some books that might help. Our grief is so unique to us that a person may not connect or find interest in some of these but others might really help. We can only find our way by trying to talk and learn more.

I wish you opportunities to grieve, I wish you strength to experience the pain of your loss, I wish you are gentle with yourself.....
Aftershock: Help, Hope, and Healing in the Wake of Suicide
by Arrington Cox, Candy David, David Cox, Candy Arrington
B&H Publishing Group; October, 2003.
Aftershock is a recovery book that will provide encouragement and support for survivors. Examining the complex emotions involved in grieving a suicide death, readers will come to realize they are not alone in their grief and will not be alone in their healing.

But I Didn't Say Goodbye
Barbara Rubel
For parents and professionals to assist young survivors.

Dying to Be Free: A Healing Guide for Families After a Suicide
by Beverly Cobain, Jean Larch 
Hazelden; February, 2006.
Transforming suffering into strength, misconceptions into understanding, and shame into dignity, Beverly Cobain and Jean Larch break through the dangerous silence and stigma surrounding suicide to bring readers this much-needed book. Cobain's achingly honest account of dealing with the suicide of a loved one, along with personal stories from others who experienced this profound loss, provide powerful insight into the confusion, fear, and guilt family members experience.

Grieving the Unexpected: The Suicide of a Son
by Dr Gary Leblanc
Essence Publishing (Canada); January, 2003.
Dr. LeBlanc openly discusses his family's struggle to survive such a dreadful event, the variables that sustained them during the initial shock and the healing process that enabled them to commence their journey towards wholeness. Honest and insightful, Grieving the Unexpected will help those who minister to hurting people better understand what families and individuals experience when confronted with terrible loss, and will testify to the sustaining comfort of God's presence.

Healing after the Death Suicide of a Loved One
by Ann Smolin and John Guinan
Special chapters for the death of parents, children, siblings and spouse. Case studies, markers in the experience of many survivors and a directory of support groups nation-wide.

In the Wake of Suicide: Stories of People Left Behind
by Victoria Alexander
Comforting stories of many survivors and their individual reactions to the suicide of a loved one. Depth and breadth of material.

My Son, My Son: A Guide to Healing After a Suicide in the Family
by Iris Bolton, Curtis Mitchell
Mom's perspective, very positive reader reviews.

No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One
by Carla Fine
Author experienced the death of her husband by suicide and explores the social stigma as well as the particular grief of survivors.

Silent Grief - Living in the Wake of Suicide
by Christopher Lukas & Henry M. Seiden 
Published by Simon & Schuster 01 February, 1988
Lukas and Seiden, a television writer/producer (and suicide survivor) and a clinical psychologist, discuss how the emotional aftermath of suicide differs from that of normal bereavement not only in duration but because of the hidden implication of responsibility and higher risk of suicide for those relatives left behind.

Stronger Than Death: When Suicide Touches Your Life
by Sue Chance - Published by Avon Books (1992)
A psychiatrist shares the life and suicide death of her only child and her personal struggle to cope with this tragic event.








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June, 2019

6/24/2019

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Major changes happening, new job, new location but the same amazing life. Grateful, blessed and thankful to continue the website and blog. 
It has always struck me how change brings heartache but change also brings opportunity. I can choose to see the world in a different way, in a good way, and definitely in a positive way. I know there is the ebb and flow in life, not everything works out the way we would like them to, and we can choose to be hurt or angry about it or we can choose to see these as events that we learn from.
​I recently thought about all the self talk that we give ourselves in every situation and I came to this: Your mind will always believe everything you tell it. Tell it love, Tell it kindness. Tell it that you are amazing!


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March, 2019

3/1/2019

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Hello my dear friends, It's been awhile since I posted. Spring is on the way....yay!
It's been an extremely cold winter! I have spent most of my time working and staying indoors. I think it's that time of year when we are all tired of winter and looking forward to the melting snow, warm sunshine and longer days.
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Even though I just wrote that spring is on the way soon, here's some things to do for self-care while we wait. Peace and Love.
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Workshop tonight!

1/23/2019

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Driftpile ASIST

9/19/2018

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Every Summer has a story

8/3/2018

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So every summer has a story, yes! It is mid-August already and the summer is almost over. In the past I have tended towards travel, gardening, going to the beach, etc, etc. Didn't get much time for that this summer.
I have been working out in community and loving it. Most people are great, accepting, kind and considerate. The others I learn to take with a grain of salt. The communities are beautiful. For me, the North is the most beautiful place and I am grateful to be here.
I found this summer self-care challenge, and I really like it. It shows some little things that you can do over the summer, July or August, that just make you feel good. I had been posting self care calendars. Ideas that are achievable but fun. I will work towards a generic one that anyone could use. A bit of a reminder that we have value and are deserving of the same care we encourage on others. 
We can't help people when we have nothing left to give. Replenishing our energy is so very vital.

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I did have some time for a bit of travel. It was an adventure because we did not plan ahead and we let the map take us where we needed to go. We were flexible enough to work with what we had at the end of each day. It was so much fun. If you get a chance, give it a try, I highly recommend it!
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June 21, 2018

6/21/2018

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Happy Happy Summer Solstice, it is the longest day of the year and the shortest night. After work I will light a fire and celebrate this day. I am so grateful to be in a place where I can honor our Creator, our ancestors and Mother Earth. I am blessed to be surrounded by great family and friends. I love my children and grandchildren and am so thankful for them everyday. Nobody ever leads a perfect life but you can choose to lead a good life that works for you. I think that you can love and support people but the bottom line is that you are the one to wake up feeling joy at where you are at in life. If you don't, then change it...for you. I wish you a beautiful day and a wonderful year.
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I also want to acknowledge that today is also National Indigenous People's Day, which used to be called National Aboriginal Day. For me, every day is Indigenous Day...hahaha. I think it's great, as an act of reconciliation, that we acknowledge and celebrate the First People's of this land. Celebrate the people! yay! and never forget who the original people of this land really is...speak the truth.
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    Priscilla Lalonde

    I enjoy my work in human services, I like traveling and meeting amazing people.
    This blog has postings of some of the adventures that I've had. Please enjoy.

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